Every Bride Needs Something Blue

Tales Of An Educated Debutante

on life, loss and the joy that rules the day.


The future is far away and scary, but today is lovely.

Adrian H. Wood, PhD

A Letter to the Perfect Moms

A Letter to the Perfect Moms

Thursday, August 03, 2017 Adrian Wood Comments (2)

You people are wearing me out. Not just me, but all of us, as in all the moms out there who just tell it like it is. It’s called being real and honest and yes, the truth really does set you free. Have I peaked your interest? How can I convince you to cross over to the other side? Please, lay down your social media magic wands and get moving.

Don't act all innocent, you know of what I speak. Those perfect photographs, the mouths open in laughter, the smartly coifed children, all of you a picture of happiness, seemingly impervious to being hot as Hell amongst those sand dunes. You're not fooling anyone, we know that there was tyrannical complaining, crying, and pleas for help because starched clothes and sand are an itchy combination. You can't fool the sisterhood you've abandoned.

It's not just those pretend magazine shoots in the summer and around the holidays, you also bombard us with your soliloquies of the idyllic life. We should ignore them, continue reading, block you perhaps, but we are gluttons and so, we can't help it. You may as well know, we screenshot that mess and send it to our favorite sloppy friends. Traveling, muffin making, grocery shopping, children accomplishing chores, happy and wonderful times with not a blip of discontentment, not one mealy apple at your shiny house.

Well, the jig is up and I cry foul. You are a formidable group, but I am up to the challenge and we come in peace. Well, we will try, if you'll just let down your guard a bit. We want nothing but good for you and while we are being sucked dry by tiny humans, y'all are starring in the Sound of Music. And for what end? There are no rewards, no medals, no cash prize, not even a certificate with your name in calligraphy. Nothing, not one iota of praise unless you count a kind word or two on your tombstone.

Do you know what you're doing to our species? We are dropping like flies, becoming the worse kind of second guessing, nail biting and wine guzzling disasters, because some of us are trying to keep up and we are failing. None are perfect and no matter how good one is at pretending, the tides of real life find us all and you don't want to be left alone to pick up those fake pieces.

I mean, life is hard enough and none of us will escape it’s journey. I'm telling you, real life means illness or a baby that wasn’t what you ordered or maybe the baby never has never arrived. Perhaps you have parents that will need you too soon, a husband that decided marriage wasn't his cup of tea, or that job you loved, well, maybe it no longer loves you.

You see, being perfect just makes things harder and so, we want you on our team. It’s strictly a volunteer position- there's no pay, the hours suck, and you have to share your heart and wear it on your sleeve. In return, joy you have never known will be all yours and life will be better than you knew possible. Real trumps perfect every time. We need you.


The Real Moms

Rachel commented on 06-Aug-2017 01:41 PM
Wow, just reading this has already added some joy to my day. I am a 30 year mother of three (five and under) and it is hard but rewarding all at the same time. I am at constant war with myself: "Do I spend enough time with my kids?" My floor desperately needs to be washed and my laundry is reproducing, but I am so exhausted. Would I be a terrible mom/wife if I just sit here with a giant glass of wine and watch Gilmore Girls? These are some of my daily thoughts. Anyway, so glad I found your blog. I am excited to get to know you a little bit more and learn from aanothe mom and have ssomegood laughs and cries along the way. Here's to motherhood!
Anonymous commented on 22-Sep-2017 09:05 AM
Loved meeting you last night and looking forward to another seeing you again on January 11 if not before. 👏

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