It's the first week of school and mothers everywhere are posting adorable pictures of their precious little people (including me). We ooh and ahh and as mom, feel nervous, a bit anxious, excited, relieved and hopeful that our children will venture bravely into their new environments and encounter loving teachers and kind classmates. At least I do. This being a mom thing is tough and a bit scary and before we know it, our tiny babies are heading to school.
What about the children that didn't land perfectly in this world? I had never stopped to think what the first week of school is like for them and their mamas. Wow. As Amos grows and gets older, his time is coming soon and because he has extra special needs, he starts school in just two months. Three years before my other children and that brings a level of nervousness and anxiety I didn't know existed. Not just starting sooner but going at all. That's the real kicker.
All this week, I admired the photos and stories of mothers everywhere, but I have been most awed by the mamas that are sending their fledgling young to school for the first time. I have observed from the sidelines and waited with baited breath as the morning photos are updated with afternoon greetings. I have seen abundant smiles and imagined the sighs of relief and then felt my own wave of relief and thankfulness. I am thankful that Amos has the right to attend public school and that he has a wonderful teacher happily anticipating his arrival.
More than that, I am thankful for these moms sharing their stories. Being willing to be transparent with their fears and anxiety and being open and honest about how hard this transition seems. It is hard. I haven't experienced it yet and the idea of kindergarten for Amos fills me with a sense of dread. It really does. One, I so hope Amos can be in a typical kindergarten class but then I think, what if he is? How will he be treated? I don't want him to be the token special needs child, inclusion completed. That's the part that hurts my heart and so, I extend my sincere thanks to the mothers that bravely walked that journey and opened their hearts and minds so that I may catch a real glimpse. That divulgence has calmed by soul and the gift of peace that washes over me is a gift.
Thank you to the Mamas.