Flowers. Three vases. A mix of gardenias, hydrangea, and a few pilfered lilies. Confidingly, a meager offering for a mother's reassurance. Not just a safe place to fall, but a classroom that has been nothing short of miraculous. A year ago, we were prepping ourselves for Amos's entry into school. It was a choice that required no choosing, yet kindled despair and defeat in the family confounded once again by heavy irony. One can not escape the swallowing of pride required when your heart belongs to a child with extra special needs.
Years back, I was eager for my first three children to begin preschool. When they turned three, they were quickly potty trained and two mornings a week we walked the two blocks and I deposited a child or two for three hours. It was quite idyllic, but never long enough. Quiet at home was not something I expected though and so, longings were more wistful than real.
Amos was drafted for preschool three full days a week, beginning on his third birthday and I was a bit lost. It was not the entry into school I had expected. No, this year involved driving and school buses, rather than quaint walks and lunch at home. I had envisioned a different life for Amos and yet, his life is only that, just a bit different, not lacking. Since he began school, life for Amos is much brighter and fuller and transforming than I ever expected. I have watched my youngest son become the loveliest of butterflies. You see, he was gifted a place and experience and teachers, all parts of a life I wanted nothing to do with. I didn't know though, I didn't know that my beautiful boy would grow into such a complex and amazing soul, enriched from the garden in which he was planted. This special needs mama is so very thankful for the nurturing which has transformed us both.