Symbolism has always spoken to my heart. Glimpses of photos and childish drawings quietly beckon my wistful analogies. My seven year old daughter's portrayal of a mother's love was evident in her childish scrawled words, "I am a mom." My precious daughter already knows the power of motherhood and in her world, I am the queen. My kingdom is very unruly right now though. The company that has been enlisted as an ally, BCBS, is instead rebelling. Rather than adhering to the policy guidelines, just following the rules, they balk, they fight, they deny, they apologize, they ignore HIPPA and they barrage me with creative denial reasons in the name of deception.
Motherhood is what beckoned me to reach out to the department of insurance this week. They filed a formal complaint on our behalf that very day and then the phone began to ring. I think I preferred the crickets as this time I heard new excuses, new medical policy explanations, new reasons why my Amos will not receive what their policy promises. The best cited reason was that because Amos can speak; he has a "true" word, they said. Yes, I admitted he can say "Mama" and I wouldn't trade that loving utterance for a million devices, but should I? No mother should be placed in this position but even so I'm thankful. I'm thankful that my daughter has recognized my perseverance in the greatest endeavor, motherhood. Even so, "Mama" is not enough for the great big world even if it is enough for me.
I stand in the face of old school discrimination for a little boy with special needs and BCBS discounts my most valiant role, my strongest armor, motherhood. I hope my daughter sees that this thing called motherhood grows a brave heart to make the world a bit better. I hope some day she is blessed with the gift that has defied my understanding of true joy. Her words fuel my fire of advocacy. I am just a mom, but can you hear me roar?