Every Bride Needs Something Blue

Tales Of An Educated Debutante

on life, loss and the joy that rules the day.


The future is far away and scary, but today is lovely.

Adrian H. Wood, PhD

I Used the Men's Room

I Used the Men's Room

Friday, April 29, 2016 Adrian Wood Comments (0)

I had no choice, though I guess I could have held it but had just checked in a minute late to my second doctor's appointment and didn't want to miss my name being called. The door to my gender designated room was locked and after a minute, I did the unthinkable. I used the replica men's room. I was quick and thought to myself I have knowingly broken the law, not a shock considering my history of being a rule questioner but I did ponder my punishment.

The nurse was waiting for me and I shared my debacle and she laughed. I wondered aloud what my punishment may be so of course, I googled and found out that there is no punishment. There is an ordinance but no specified citation. Nada. Not one repercussion which has gotten our whole state in a tizzy. I also couldn't help but read further and found these two questions and answers particularly enlightening.

Question: What if my birth certificate says I’m female, but I look like and live as a man?

Answer: Go to the women’s room, even if you’re sporting a full beard. The law says the only definition of male or female that North Carolina acknowledges is what’s on your birth certificate.

Question: Is it possible to change the gender on my birth certificate?

Answer: The law varies by state. A few states won’t change the gender no matter what. Most states, including North Carolina, require proof of sex reassignment surgery. Other states will change it without that proof.

Now, I tend to avoid overtly political or religious posts as I don't want to turn away readers and I hope that my heart is mirrored in my writing. My own truth is the subject of my preaching but this is too much for me. There are so many problems we have and this is the one that is receiving the time and attention of our politicians. Are you freaking kidding me? Those same politicos receive awesome insurance that is almost identical to Medicaid and they want to lecture me about bathrooms. Sorry, I want their insurance and I want to have the option to buy it.

I would bet a substantial sum of money ($100) that the majority of them know far less than myself, regarding the specifics of health insurance in our great state of North Carolina. I am unfortunately a walking encyclopedia full of policy details and no joke, have had BCBS ask me to slow down so they can take notes over the phone. How many NC politicians realize that they live and govern in a state that ensures gender reassignment surgery is a mandatory option provided by EVERY private BCBS policy provided as part of Obamacare? Perhaps they do know and this is some sort of crazed revenge?

Please tell me someone is following this line of thinking. Insurance covers gender surgery. Must provide proof of gender surgery to change status on birth certificate. Transgender person can use the bathroom. Great. What happens if no official status change? I get the shit scared out of me by some bearded person coming in the bathroom who hasn't gotten proper approval for birth certificate change status. We both are miserable for different reasons and me keeping my original privates should entitle me to something more than this very real and miserable scenario.

Now this is what I want; I don't want the surgery. I want the $137,000 that the surgery would cost applied to more therapy visits for my son.

Do me a favor. Fix that problem first. Don't fight for the bathroom I don't give a rat's ass about but fight for me and my choices for insurance. Fight for Amos. Let his family buy the insurance that is like yours, unlimited speech, physical and occupational therapy, based on need only.

Right now I'm being forced every day, week, and month to choose. Clutching and handing over precious ration cards that will run out very soon. How do I choose? Don't make me choose between the image of my two year old son running and jumping or eating with a fork. Maybe I am greedy but I want it all.

If you care about NC, you will forget all about who is using which bathroom. I have included this ridiculous sign, posted in lovely Edenton, and yes, "Abomination" is spelled wrong and I am struck with the ridiculousness of those who are supposed to be working to support NC families. Bless their hearts and shame on them.

Post has no comments.
Comment Policy
Thank you for your respectful, friendly, on-topic comments! I LOVE THEM. Because I want My tales to be encourage a positive environment for my readers, my family, and myself, I have and will remove offensive, inappropriate, or generally rude comments. I abide by proper Southern etiquette.

Post a Comment

Captcha Image

Connect With Me

Never Miss A Tale

PR Welcome

Recent Posts


Tales I Envy

Past Tales

Never Miss A Tale

Sign up today to receive new post notifcations. And don't worry, you have not sold your soul to me! You can unsubscribe at any time.