Every Bride Needs Something Blue

Tales Of An Educated Debutante

on life, loss and the joy that rules the day.


 




 
The future is far away and scary, but today is lovely.

Adrian H. Wood, PhD


Love Myself

Love Myself

Thursday, July 13, 2017 Adrian Wood Comments (3)

Are you going swimming? Where is your shirt? The questions of my daughter. She turns eight on Sunday and she only knows a mother that swims in a shirt. When had I become that person?
You haven't worn a bikini top in twenty something years. Why not?
Your stomach hasn't seen the light of day since you were thirty thirty pounds lighter. Why not?
You used to be so confident, I tell myself.
I used to love myself.
Why does it matter? Does it even matter? Who cares?
She does.
The little girl that scrutinizes her mother at every step, every turn, every crossroad and yes, even every shirt.
So, today I took it off and I was more uneasy than I care to admit, ashamed almost. Pale belly, full breasts, thick torso, I haven't been that exposed on a beach since I became a mother. Why not?
It's that voice.
The ones that chastises me to cover up.
The one that whispers in my ear, you're not so young anymore.
The one that remembers every flaw, every dimple, every soft place.
You are flawed, I tell myself. Scars, battle wounds, a c-section scar, none are pretty but they tell a beautiful story.
You are soft, I tell myself. Four babies burrowed their downy heads into my chest many an evening.
You are older, I tell myself. I'm in my forties now and with age, I've matured and learned and am still learning to silence the voice that says you're not enough.
I am enough. I am more than enough. I am strong. I am imperfect and I love with my whole heart.
Where's my shirt?
Well, my darling, I don't need it anymore.
@Adrian H. Wood
July 11th, 2017

Comments
Anonymous commented on 13-Jul-2017 07:55 PM
Fantastic!
Mary commented on 13-Jul-2017 10:43 PM

You write my very favorite blog...I love your honesty. I only wish I could have read them as my daughter was growing up. Please keep writing...
Becca commented on 27-Jul-2017 07:38 AM
I love that you wrote about the inner critic that we all seem to have. We need to be mindful of it as well as practice self-compassion when we hear its voice. And remember that we are beautiful just as we are.

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