Every Bride Needs Something Blue

Tales Of An Educated Debutante

on life, loss and the joy that rules the day.


 
 
 
 
 




 
The future is far away and scary, but today is lovely.

Adrian H. Wood, PhD


Ten Things Women Want for Christmas or Hanukkah

Thursday, December 21, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Ten Things Women Want for Christmas or Hanukkah

1. A weekend alone in the house. I know, it’s so cheap and yet, you could be the hero that saved the holidays. 2. A weekend alone somewhere good. Now, good is a wide stretch. I count good as going to my parents house, the Hampton Inn, and (though I have no personal experience), The Ritz-Carlton or a quaint cottage by the sea for a week would leave me forever indebted. Hell, the motel 6 sounds awfully cushy this week. 3. Sleep. An hour here and there, maybe a fre ..

Read more

A Letter to the Teachers

Tuesday, December 19, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
A Letter to the Teachers

You can smell your freedom and I’m in a total panic. Not even two whole days left and I ponder my life. I mean, why did I have children in the first place? Will you be okay if I send in a crumpled $20 bill? I mean, I know it’s tacky as Hell, but I’m just not creative. You know that I think you’re worth at least a mortgage payment, don’t you? I don’t how you do it and go ahead and laugh at me, but I used to be one of those who wistfully longed for a “teacher s ..

Read more

Christmas Spiral

Saturday, December 16, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Christmas Spiral

I am officially drowning in the Christmas Spiral epidemic. I mean, a full on collapse of the Tower of Pisa. While you mo fos are pretending to be naughty elves, I’m pondering writing your names on voodoo dolls. Y’all are wrapping presents and listening to Christmas carols and I’m blaring Violent Femmes and digging boxes out of the dumpster behind the liquor store. Everyone looks so fresh and nice and I’m trapped in the car at Hardee’s because I have on no bra, hand m ..

Read more

Ten Signs of Being at One’s Holiday Wits End

Wednesday, December 13, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Ten Signs of Being at One’s Holiday Wits End

Ten Signs of Being at One’s Holiday Wits End I am officially cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. 1. Christmas is love, we sang in Sunday school, as I jabbed Russell with a confiscated toothpick for not singing. 2. When said child states they don’t feel well, I respond that they are going to school tomorrow. Example of conversation below. Me: Russell, you are going to school tomorrow. Russell: Not if I’m dead. Me: That’s true. You can stay home if you’re dead. 3. The ..

Read more

A Letter to the Perfect Moms

Tuesday, November 28, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
A Letter to the Perfect Moms

You people are wearing me out. Not just me, but all of us, as in all the moms out there who just tell it like it is. It’s called being real and honest and yes, the truth really does set you freeand the lot of us? Well, we have conceded defeat. Have I piqued your interest? Can I convince you to cross over to the other side? Please, lay down your social media magic wands and join us. Don't act all innocent, you know very well of your trickery. Those perfect photos, the mouths open in ..

Read more

Ten Parenting Hacks for A Good School Year

Tuesday, August 08, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (1)
Ten Parenting Hacks for A Good School Year

Considering teacher letters were delivered in our small town today, I'm sharing my best hacks to ensure a great year. 1. Do not complain about who your child has gotten for a teacher. Be willing to give said person a fair shake, no calling the principal or other administrator and no Facebook rants. Absolutely no exceptions. 2. Email your child’s teacher and introduce yourself. It is good manners to say hello and tell them you're excited for the school year. 3. As ..

Read more

A Letter to the Perfect Moms

Thursday, August 03, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (2)
A Letter to the Perfect Moms

You people are wearing me out. Not just me, but all of us, as in all the moms out there who just tell it like it is. It’s called being real and honest and yes, the truth really does set you free. Have I peaked your interest? How can I convince you to cross over to the other side? Please, lay down your social media magic wands and get moving. Don't act all innocent, you know of what I speak. Those perfect photographs, the mouths open in laughter, the smartly coifed children, all of  ..

Read more

Camp Musings

Tuesday, June 13, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (1)
Camp Musings

1. Does anyone actually own 14 pairs of shorts? 2. Three sets of sheets lasts six months at our house. 3. My children have never used a washcloth. 4. Why has no one invented a toothbrush with toothpaste inside? 5. I still have leftover stamped stationary from last year, so that's a plus. 6. Three children going to camp means that their grandparents could have sent me to Europe and left kids at home with a babysitter. 7. I hope it's not a problem that my  ..

Read more

Ten Clues Summer Has Arrived

Monday, June 12, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (1)
Ten Clues Summer Has Arrived

1. Last day of school picture is terrible. No new anything and people fighting while using creative renditions of the f word. 2. I'm cursing at the children. FYI, I don't use the f word though. 3. No one has bathed in a good five days. Wet wipes are suffice. 4. I woke up and did not pack one frickin' lunchbox. Sunscreen application has replaced that duty. 5. My healthy eating regimen lasted 12 hours. It began after Pizza Inn last night and ended ..

Read more

Ten Reasons College Friends Are Your Best Friends

Saturday, June 03, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (1)
Ten Reasons College Friends Are Your Best Friends

1. 20,000 hours. Time spent taking care of no one, thinking about no one and doing whatever the Hell you wanted minus a few classes. 2. Clothes were a community item. In fact, you may as well have not purchased any items, as it was much more delightful to scavenge through another's old crappy t-shirt collection, stolen stand up shorts and rainbows. 3. Privacy was not a thing. Changing clothes, trying on a zillion bathing suits, and best of all, talking to unsuspectin ..

Read more
1 2 3 4 5 .. 12 Next

Connect With Me

Never Miss A Tale

PR Welcome

Recent Posts

Tags

Tales I Envy

Past Tales

Never Miss A Tale

Sign up today to receive new post notifcations. And don't worry, you have not sold your soul to me! You can unsubscribe at any time.