Every Bride Needs Something Blue

Tales Of An Educated Debutante

on life, loss and the joy that rules the day.


 




 
The future is far away and scary, but today is lovely.

Adrian H. Wood, PhD


To the Mama Who Is New to the Special Needs Club

Sunday, June 11, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
To the Mama Who Is New to the Special Needs Club

I was you. I wasn't one of those amazing people who intentionally adopt a child with special needs. I admired such selflessness from afar. My neat and tidy family was easy and I was relieved that everyone was born "perfect." It wasn't until baby number four, that I became a member of the club that I wouldn't have sought entry. It's been over a year now that my mind and heart began to acknowledge that my Amos wasn't just one of the gang as his catching up seemed more and more unlikely. A ..

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Goodbye to the School Year From A Special Needs Mama

Friday, June 02, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Goodbye to the School Year From A Special Needs Mama

Flowers. Three vases. A mix of gardenias, hydrangea, and a few pilfered lilies. Confidingly, a meager offering for a mother's reassurance. Not just a safe place to fall, but a classroom that has been nothing short of miraculous. A year ago, we were prepping ourselves for Amos's entry into school. It was a choice that required no choosing, yet kindled despair and defeat in the family confounded once again by heavy irony. One can not escape the swallowing of pride required when your heart ..

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The Other Woman

Friday, May 19, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (2)
The Other Woman

He has another woman. Three of them actually, but one is particularly fond of my little blond boy with the funny gait, a boy of few words. It is her face which lights up at the very sight of him. He has another woman. Many a morning we walk into school and he lurches forward out of my arms and into hers. It is her who gives him a warm place to snuggle when I'm not there. He has another woman. He crawled in my bed this morning and took my hand, placed it on his back, and starti ..

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Define Healthy Baby

Monday, May 15, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Define Healthy Baby

"As long as its healthy," I heard in the years before I became a mother and though I wasn't writing, I was still thinking. Words flow and land on the listener and often times, we are not even aware of their effect on others. We should be though, not in a hyper vigilant, politically correct sort of way, but a place of empathy, eyes and heart open to the needs and lives of others. Spilling catch phrases comes easily, but words can be thorns. For those that didn't or don't or will not have ..

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Ten Struggles of A Special Needs Mama

Friday, May 12, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Ten Struggles of A Special Needs Mama

1. My child is in diapers. Nobody goes to school in diapers, people say laughingly, but my son does. It's not too bad except there's no place to change him except the floor of a bathroom. Changing tables are meant for babies, not long limbed children. 2. My child doesn't sit still in restaurants. Nope, he wanders and explores and likely will come over to investigate your table; autism doesn't play by the rules of etiquette. 3. Getting a sitter is not so easy. To  ..

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Do You Remember Me?

Thursday, May 11, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Do You Remember Me?

I'm the boy you watched so carefully in the airport. I didn't notice, but my mother did even though she pretended not to. She made sure I was dressed nicely and had eaten a good breakfast. She let me run around in the airport because exercise helps me sit somewhat still in the plane. You watched me, not even from the corner of your eye, and disapproval rained down on my boisterous self. That wasn't nice, though I bet you didn't mean to act like that. I'm not perfect and my mom says she' ..

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The Supreme Court & Amos

Wednesday, May 10, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (1)
The Supreme Court & Amos

This morning, I noticed there was quite a hubbub going on at the state's oldest courthouse. My husband shared that the NC Supreme Court was in Edenton hearing cases and before he knew it, I was in fancy clothes (white jeans) and manhandled Amos into knee socks and saddle shoes. One must look the part when you haven't been invited, haven't signed up, don't hold a ticket for entry and arrive wrestling a three year old with autism. We are not exactly on the most wanted list. We moseye ..

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Dear Moon,

Monday, May 08, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (2)
Dear Moon,

Will you watch my boy when I'm gone? Will you remember to rise when the sun has not set? Will you bathe him in light when he's asleep in his bed? Will you follow him wherever life leads? Will you remind him that he and his mama looked for you most every evening? Will you whisper your presence to him when he feels alone? Will you comfort him when my arms can't stretch that far? Will you shine upon his face so that his light can alway be seen? Will you kiss ..

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Visceral Joy

Friday, May 05, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (1)
Visceral Joy

If I were to get a tattoo, it would be of the joy captured in this snapshot, on the face of the boy named Amos. Instead, I am imprinting it on my heart. It says to me, don't you dare wallow in grief or be sad for me or miss one iota of joy in the every day. I am happy, I read in the face that turns toward the sun. I am content, I feel in the arch of his body atop the hands of his father. If I remember to get quiet, I can still hear the delight in his little boy squeals. Visceral jo ..

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The Littlest Tyrant

Sunday, April 23, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
The Littlest Tyrant

It is a side we haven't seen much of and truthfully, it was a welcome sight. Squabbling between my two youngest children has never happened before and so, three and a half years later, I am thankful. These two are nearly five years apart and my daughter has treated the brother with extra special needs as her own baby. He's always been defiant and ignored her for the most part, but she has loved him from the get go. This morning, the tide changed and in a good way. It's disconcerting to h ..

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