Tales Of An Educated Debutante
on life, loss and the joy that rules the day.






























The future is far away and scary, but today is lovely.
Adrian H. Wood, PhD
Special Olympics
Real life doesn’t abide by our rules. The Special Olympics was never on my bucket list. Perhaps as a volunteer, but not as mom. Last year, I was the mom of a little boy who took part in Special Olympics for the very first time. Amos, just four years old, in a too big shirt and unkempt yellow hair, laughed and played amongst the cheers of his family. It was joyful, I hadn’t expected that. The whole lot of it- Special Olympics, being a special needs parent, a jo ..
Read moreWhat Parents Don’t Say at IEP Meetings
1. I just want ________ to be the very best version of him/herself. 2. I want you to tell me where the best place is for ______. 3. If money were no object, what would a school day look like for ______? 4. I really just want _______ to have friends, real friends. 5. I want ______ to be happy. 6. I want ______ to know kindness. 7. I don’t know what’s best for ______, either. 8. I sit in this room and I feel so sad to see those words describe my amazing ______. 9. Tell me, ..
Read moreYou May Have Seen Him Today
You may have seen him today. Or, at least, a rendition of him. The little boy with the funny gait. Loping amidst a crowded beach, impervious to personal space, a stomper of castles and thieve of shovels. You may have seen him today. Or maybe, for you, it was a woman, clinging to the hand of her sister or mother, waiting expectantly for her flight. Or maybe, if like me, it was the young man, a glimpse of my own son in twenty years, who lay on the cool of the tile in the shade ..
Read moreThe Youngest
Tonight, joy made me weep. We walked, after dinner, past the school, towards the park. Two traversed the narrow wall. One rode the scooter. And the youngest? He ran freely, in bare feet, on the once pink sidewalk. At five, he trails behind his siblings. Bikes elude him and he’s just learning the art of going potty. When he learned to walk at almost two, I said a prayer of thanksgiving. This child, the one with autism and extra special needs, has so many character traits. ..
Read moreFinding His Groove
All day, he’s struggled to get his groove. For most of us, vacation is a welcome respite. But, not all. Special needs don’t go on vacation and I mean that in more ways than one. Home is safe and predictable. Vacation is a vast unknown. Beach, pool, iPad, phone, trucks and trains, none lasting longer than a bandaid in water. But then, on our sweaty walk home, these rocks beckoned him. We stayed for quite a long while, which with Amos, means thirty or so minutes. He clim ..
Read moreTHAT Family
In the airport today, we were THAT family, the one with the parcel of children, three well-behaved and one not. He put on quite a show, wreaked havoc at the gate and to put it lightly, caused a great big scene. I love our family, but it’s not always easy being us. It’s not always a joy, belonging to him. Five year old Amos is the youngest and though his older brother whizzed by on a scooter, Amos was strapped unwittingly into a jogging stroller. Most of the time, h ..
Read moreThe Christmas Pagent
The pageant is today and I have the sheep with autism. I woke up worrying, worrying and praying that five year old Amos would participate and not make a big scene. Please, don’t tell me that it’s fine and no one minds if he’s destructive or has a big fit because the phone doesn’t play railway vehicles. You see, I mind. I long for him to be included, but not because it’s the right thing to do. Inclusion is such a tricky thing because it’s not just the being a part of ..
Read moreAxel's Dad
I only know him as Axel’s dad. Axel, the boy on my son’s middle school soccer team. We wave, smile, make small talk as our families watch nail biting games on cold fields in eastern North Carolina. Last night, I saw a different side of Axel’s dad. A friend had invited our whole family to dinner and when my husband said he didn’t feel well, I headed out in the sleet to Mamasita's (https://www.facebook.com/Mamasitas2/?__tn__=K-R&eid=ARBZlgF21MF7ET9g3tH7dq1SAf62t8PEE4-GDa2MA ..
Read moreAmos the Sheep
To the Parent Who Wonders if Their Child Can Be in the Christmas Pageant It’s his turn. Our youngest son has come of age, though behavior doesn’t always abide by a number of years. Autism and extra special needs have built a five year old that isn’t nearly ready, mature enough, or well-behaved. If that day ever does come, it certainly won’t be in time for our Amos to play the role of a sheep in St Paul's (https://www.facebook.com/StPaulsEdentonNC/?__tn__=K-R&eid=ARAlgeI34FIK_87B ..
Read moreMommy Here
There was a time that this child of mine did not speak. Not even two years ago, I wondered if words would ever be his. I knew his thoughts, but speech is a powerful thing. Not necessary for love, but does absence make the heart grow fonder? I’m not sure. I have always felt a fierceness when it comes to this small boy of mine and at five years old, he has found his voice. Not in the truest sense, but he’s learning that words have a place in the world, his world, and t ..
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