Every Bride Needs Something Blue

Tales Of An Educated Debutante

on life, loss and the joy that rules the day.


 
 
 
 
 




 
The future is far away and scary, but today is lovely.

Adrian H. Wood, PhD


Processed Food Junkies

Friday, January 01, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Processed Food Junkies

My children are processed food junkies. January is the time of year when I, like most ambitious mothers, embrace a new dawn of healthful living. Oh the struggle, for myself and particularly for my people. I have engaged in these so called “food wars” for about eight years now, trying and failing too many times to count. In seeking help, I googled this topic and found a few suggestions that seemed directed specifically at my family. I have noted the three best offerings, for bet ..

Read more

I Ate Goldfish Every Day

Friday, January 01, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
I Ate Goldfish Every Day

I eat goldfish everyday. A celebrity, just this week, profited 19 million dollars from her tweet, "I eat bread every day". Really? I have one better than that, "I eat goldfish every day". Hello? Does anyone care? Unlike Oprah, I will not make as much as one dime for this life altering revelation. I eat bread every day? This disturbs me on so many levels. In all seriousness, are we not supposed to eat bread every day? It is doubtful I have ever gone one day, other ..

Read more

The Bathroom

Friday, January 01, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
The Bathroom

I am in the bathroom. I will be the first to admit I actually do take refuge in the bathroom under the guise of actually using it. Yes, it is a good place to escape, hide, rest on a not so comfortable seat and scroll through Facebook, check my online banking or look into my suspect email to see if the Washington Post is frantically trying to get in touch with me to publish my writings. Sad but true. However, I firmly believe I should be afforded this act of freedom as part of a ..

Read more

The Phone Call

Friday, January 01, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
The Phone Call

Please, no. It can not go unsaid any longer. What could be worse than giddy children monitoring their windows, late into the night, for snowflakes, possibly more excited than awaiting the sound of bells and reindeer hooves? No, it was not me watching the weather report, several in fact,1,823 times to earn my unofficial degree in meteorology so I could gain status amongst the other idiots at the playground. In our defense, we felt driven and brainwashed by the crazy weather peop ..

Read more

It Must Be Monday

Friday, January 01, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
It Must Be Monday

It must be Monday. Ahhh, Monday morning. No other time presents feelings of being so inept, disorganized, behind on grocery/cleaning/laundry. Once upon a time I used the weekends to work as a frantic housemaid; I trudged off to the grocery store and purchased the requisite weekly itemsbananas, a bag of green apples, Trix yogurt, and even a bag of Doritos purchased with the thought of dispersing neatly into snack ziplock bags. Alas, it usually ended up being opened by my green e ..

Read more

Ode To The Hunting Widow

Friday, January 01, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Ode To The Hunting Widow

If you detest hunting season, then you may as well excuse yourself from this eulogy that could be shocking or just plain annoying. I adore hunting season and no, I have never even held a gun. Yes, it's that time of year again and my forty year old self cheers with sheer delight. Seriously. I am sheepish to admit that the unexpected joy is so rampant, that I feel I have to stifle my happiness so as not to hurt the departing huntsman's feelings. I hope I'm not the only one but I absol ..

Read more

Wardrobe Of A Stay At Home Mother

Friday, January 01, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Wardrobe Of A Stay At Home Mother

I have a love hate relationship with my exercise wardrobe (Ie. a random mix of Nordstrom rack and TJMax running/ tennis apparel- neither of which are sports that I actually participate in willingly). They are a constant reminder that I should be exercising when I am not which is usually. They also are a visual cue to the outside world that I am unable to shower and get dressed if I need to leave the house (when I look at all presentable I am asked repeatedly where I am going- presen ..

Read more

Ode To The January Gym Membership

Friday, January 01, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Ode To The January Gym Membership

...Please no judging. Yes, I admit it. I have joined our small town gym yet again. So predictable and just downright embarrassing. I'm so ashamed of this joining that I have been engaged in my own mental warfare as I figure out how to go and yet not be seen, as hate to be known as one of the "new year resolution types" which unfortunately is exactly what I am. I would like to mention though that a friend shared her truth with me when I sheepishly brought up going to the gym, again. In  ..

Read more

My Perfect Husband

Friday, January 01, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
My Perfect Husband

The Southern husbands that I have witnessed and harbor great evil thoughts towards have opinions related to women that I find incredibly narcissistic. No, these opinions are not centered around what the liberal women of today may strive for, such as equality in the work place or leading nations. These feelings are much more soundly founded on the musings of seemingly innocent Southern husbands on a few very disturbing topics: medicine during childbirth, breastfeeding, and well, nothin ..

Read more

Childish Questions

Friday, January 01, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Childish Questions

Refrain from Childish Questions.... When are you going to have children? How many children are you going to have? Haven't you had that baby yet? In the land of the sweet south, there is no anonymity, a verbose lack of privacy and a fervent belief that one must espouse immediately any puddly thought that has come to the surface of the brain or tip of thou tongue. Of particular interest is the topic of children. How vast are the ways to offend an unsuspecting soul when it c ..

Read more
Previous .. 8 9 10 11 12

Connect With Me

Never Miss A Tale

PR Welcome

Recent Posts

Tags

Tales I Envy

Past Tales

Never Miss A Tale

Sign up today to receive new post notifcations. And don't worry, you have not sold your soul to me! You can unsubscribe at any time.