Every Bride Needs Something Blue

Tales Of An Educated Debutante

on life, loss and the joy that rules the day.


 
 
 
 
 




 
The future is far away and scary, but today is lovely.

Adrian H. Wood, PhD


Dear Lululemon

Monday, April 24, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (1)
Dear Lululemon

I went in your store last night. 1. You need a real sign. Some sort of horseshoe insignia is supposed to attract country bumpkins from eastern NC? How are we supposed to know what you're selling? I was nervous it was some sort of private club. 2. Your clothes seem very small. Maybe they are just tight as the salesgirl told me they should be, but I don't like tight. 3. You only have one size 12 in everything. One, it has usually vamoosed by the time I make t ..

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Saturday's Food Diary (AKA Crap I Ate Yesterday)

Saturday, April 22, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Saturday's Food Diary (AKA Crap I Ate Yesterday)

There may be some cause and effect to my body size dilemma. However, the truth shall set you free and so, here you go. Do people really write this stuff down? - 1 piece of white toast with two plastic containers of smushy butter - I omelet with spinach, tomato, cheddar cheese and sausage - A handful of home fries - 1/2 piece of toast shoved in my mouth leaving restaurant (in case of famine) - Amos' discarded banana - Amos' discarded bagel previously discarded by older  ..

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The Perfect Vacation

Tuesday, April 18, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
The Perfect Vacation

1. Inclusive resorts or Disney cruise. Yes, folks pointed out these options to me, but setting up a go fund me page seems a little bit tacky for entertainment respite reasons. 2. Travel with lots of families. Built in friends would mean my kids were outside without me and not arguing over their grandparent's one computer. 3. Me being lazy. I just want to be lazy. Like, sit by the pool, drink a coke, settle in and work on my book, watch Dateline, or take a shower and ..

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Laughter

Sunday, April 16, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (1)
Laughter

An unlikely place. My mind says shhh, but my heart says joy. Laughter, shoving, wrestling with a tacky pink blanket, a cool morning, three excited children, three sleepy adults. Easter isn't much of what I remember as a child, at least not all of it. I remember hunting Easter baskets as our children do and some years they were the tacky ones packaged in crinkly plastic, the ones I drooled over at Kmart and some years they were more pristine, eggs and candy and even a cabbage patch doll.  ..

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Amos & Sunkist

Sunday, April 16, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Amos & Sunkist

My newsfeed is inundated with spectacular family photos and I've got nothing. Who are these clean people that smile and share physical proximity so willingly? Well, nobody else has Amos and a Sunkist. ..

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April the Giraffe

Saturday, April 15, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
April the Giraffe

Scene: Russell & Blair watching April the giraffe give birth. Blair: I think I see her China. Russell: Its vagina, NOT China. Blair: Russell, you're just mad because you don't have one. Russell: Wait, it's a her? Me: Help. ..

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First World Problems

Friday, April 14, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
First World Problems

Clearly, I am about to project myself as an ungrateful sloth, but just allow me to this one time? 1. Spring Break I love the concept of a school break. Getting out of town, even staying home and relaxing, but I mean, oh my gosh, all day with these children is torture. 2. Sports Camp Due to annoyance factor, my mother volunteered for said children to do sports camp. My middle son detests sweating FYI and followed me around crying and complaining for an hour. My threats a ..

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Amos & Bad Airplane Trip

Wednesday, April 12, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Amos & Bad Airplane Trip

My name is Amos. This is me on the airplane. This is me before the internet vanished. My mother said my terrible behavior rendered her speechless. Not me, I was full of words, I told her OUT and NO, maybe one million times? She did point out that we were thousands of feet up in the air. That was her problem. I am airplaned out. Anyways, she said that we all survived and that's what matters. Thomas said being on the plane with me was like death. T ..

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Plane Truths

Tuesday, April 11, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Plane Truths

1. That was the flight from Hell. This is coming from someone who got off the plane last year with THREE full vomit bags (courtesy of the stomach bug.) If I thought being with a fluish Amos was tough, being with a pissed Amos in a confined space took it to a new level. 2. If you are traveling with someone who needs assistance, put on your oxygen mask first. Before today, I was filled with scorn for the mother who would not save her own child before herself. Ummm, I get it.  ..

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Live Like Someone Double Dog Dared You

Tuesday, April 04, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (4)
Live Like Someone Double Dog Dared You

What a thought. It's not my own though, it was a friend that reminded me of that phrase from childhood. It meant one was brave and strong, a bit reckless, quite fearless and confident not self conscious. Is there anything more to strive for in this life? Living life like someone has double dog dared you sounds outstanding and I want to be that person. I'm not yet, though I'm getting closer. I wore my fancy shoes walking in New York because they looked better than my old Tretorns an ..

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