Tales Of An Educated Debutante
on life, loss and the joy that rules the day.






























The future is far away and scary, but today is lovely.
Adrian H. Wood, PhD
My Dad
One night with my parents and I am never left disappointed. 1. How long is it? The news is about to come on. I asked my dad if he wanted to hear me practice my speech. 2. You need to receprocate. He was right, paying back a kindness though I pointed out it may be better to reciprocate and he said, "Yeah, that too." 3. I just order whatever she orders. This is a new level of retirement and then he follows with, two minutes later, "what did I order?" 4. Is Blair ..
Read moreThe Beauty of Messy Chaos
I nag and bewail my children and then I remember that the beauty of messy chaos hides in the insignificant nonsense of the little forgetful minds. I tidy and lament discarded blankets and hot cocoa cups and then I remember the beauty of messy chaos hides in fleece polka dots and sticky marshmallow remnants. I do too much in the name of fun and then I remember the beauty of messy chaos hides in doing not much of anything or sitting around your kitchen table with friends, slurpin ..
Read moreDear Weather Person
Waking up this morning to a sleety mess, I got my coffee and flipped on the tv as I wondered what an apology from a weather person would sound like. Crickets. Not one word, not even an inkling of an admission of guilt. Now, because I wish you no ill-will, I'm going to let you in on a little secret that rules the lives of mothers everywhere. Quite simply, say you are sorry especially when it was actually was an accident, that is why the word sorry was invented. I'll even forgive you for a ..
Read moreWhy I Detest Co-Sleeping
Now, I realize this is quite a touchy subject, but at least let me defend myself. I'd like to think that I have good reasons why I don't choose to have an open bed policy and since I don't judge co-sleepers, I only ask for the same judgement free zone for folks like me. I belong to a group of those who absolutely detest sleeping more than two persons to a bed. I mean, even polygamists have their own sleeping space. I actually only have one real reason. I depend on my bed and the nighttim ..
Read moreOde to the Hunting Widow
If you detest hunting season, then you may as well excuse yourself from this eulogy that could be shocking or just plain annoying. I adore duck season and no, I have never even held a gun. Yes, it's that time of year again and my forty something year old self cheers with sheer delight. It's hard to believe that twelve years ago I was a hunting widow on the warpath. I was livid that my husband had abandoned me and ridden into the sunset on December 23rd. How dare he leave me, his ..
Read moreSecond Installment of Christmas With My Dad
1. I would leave Santa some vodka. That's nice. 2. They're going with us to church, ALL of them? He says this in front of me, Christmas Eve afternoon, my mother shoots daggers as he appears horrified and incredulous. 3. I'm not ready yet, I can't find the trash bags. Trash bags. Necessary for quick accessibility before gift opening as grandchildren salivate to be released from holding pen on Christmas morning. 4. I got this thing to pick up all your stuff. Ye ..
Read moreTorturous Christmas Traditions
1. The Christmas Card Ahhhh, this is the holiday tradition that I love to loathe. I really do. I adore getting the cards but the giving? Yech. 2. The Christmas Eve Service Nothing like a "family" church service to coincide with the year's biggest night of bedtime torture. Wrestle and threaten children in a tight space and then go home to scrounge up cookies for Santa. 3. Exchanging Presents I don't want to do this. I don't need a present and I don't want to buy any ..
Read moreBack to School
In August, I felt a bit sad as my people readied themselves for the school year. Today, I can't push them out the door fast enough. In August, people looked fairly presentable for photographs. Today, I'm fairly sure that two of three have on the same clothes from yesterday. In August, people were up and ready to go bright and early. Today, my children are up in arms there wasn't a weather delay. Yes, public school in Eastern NC means that wind, rain, and fog often give us ..
Read moreAnd Then
It was Christmas Eve, a day for spending quality time together and then, I sneaked away for just one little hour to drink my coffee and catch up on the news, i.e., Facebook. It was Christmas Eve, a day for breakfast with friends overlooking the Biscayne Bay and then, Amos had a fit, cried and threw his orange juice as I played every show he has ever liked on my phone and ordered a Bloody Mary. It was Christmas Eve, a day for the beach and collecting moon jellies and then, my b ..
Read moreMotherhood Aspirations for 2017
I am really going to try to do better. Seriously. 1. Put laundry away. While I have many problems with the laundry and admittedly, a kind soul that helps with the laundry, the putting it away is a real problem for me. 2. Cook dinner. I have created children with terrible eating habits and perhaps cooking items not from bags in the freezer filled with animal shaped items will help undo the mayhem I created. 3. Ignore my children less. I am setting the goal a ..
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