Every Bride Needs Something Blue

Tales Of An Educated Debutante

on life, loss and the joy that rules the day.


 
 
 
 
 




 
The future is far away and scary, but today is lovely.

Adrian H. Wood, PhD


Babyhood Expectations

Saturday, July 23, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Babyhood Expectations

View on Babble (https://www.babble.com/parenting/my-four-children-are-proof-the-baby-years-never-go-as-planned/) The first story of my “babyhood” expectations was written on thick lined paper when I was in the first grade. It tells of my dreams of becoming a “baby doctor” when I grew up, though it quickly becomes clear that 7-year-old me really just wanted to be a mama — specifically to a “cute, blue-eyed blonde baby.” Years later, my hopes of babyhood would be fulfilled,  ..

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What If You Had Been Given A Choice?

Tuesday, July 19, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (2)
What If You Had Been Given A Choice?

I would choose him again and again and again. I would choose him if you offered me a sea of children. Why is he worth the effort, the struggle, the tears, the exhaustion? The loss of the life that is no more and the grief that follows make that choice seem unconscionable, even to myself, the mother of a special needs child. Life is simple is no more, never will be again and yet, it is worth it. Maybe I'm wrong though, this path feels too hard, too rough, too heartbreaking but th ..

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After His Surgery

Sunday, July 17, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
After His Surgery

"Think how frustrated we will feel if he does talk after his surgery." The words of my ten year old son as we lie on the carpet in Amos' room and he played between us, content in his own silence and happily pushing a car along the edge of a hand me down parking garage. His words floated over Amos' silky nearly white gold hair, still damp from an evening bath with his oldest brother. I paused and pondered my response and was struck with the incredibleness of the moment. This  ..

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Thank You for Shedding the Costumes

Friday, July 15, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Thank You for Shedding the Costumes

You know the ones. The stiff white coats, pressed and starched, a name monogrammed on the left side. Those same costumes prevent circumventing the dialogue that is strictly proper. The white coat creates an traditional atmosphere in which one is in charge and one should learn; teacher to child, Priest to parishioner, mechanic to automobile owner and so on. In this case, it may paralyze the voices of those who should be doing the teaching while the white coat should be listening carefully and ..

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Good Parenting Means Saying Goodbye To Your Pride

Thursday, July 14, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (2)
Good Parenting Means Saying Goodbye To Your Pride

If I had any tidbits of pride left, I can assure you that our most recent speech and occupational therapy evaluations have completely eradicated those remnants of pride. Yep, my pride has been disintegrating over the last year and now it has officially flown the coop. I never knew I hated the word "typical" so much. Typical. I never thought to take offense to a word that I have thrown around with the best of them. That was before it applied to us or him, my Amos, who evidently is fa ..

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How Do You Define Perfect?

Wednesday, July 13, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (1)
How Do You Define Perfect?

Tricky, isn't it. My idea of perfect has morphed over the years and for the better, I think. I was always uncomfortable with the phrase "as long as it's healthy." Even in my pre mother years, this made me feel hesitant and biting my lip. Perhaps I had watched a very sick brother struggle a year and in seeing him not healthy, I still recognized his value and worth as a person. Life is not perfect I learned fairly early and I think that swayed my mind for flexibility in defining perfecti ..

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The Grief I Didn't Expect

Tuesday, July 12, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (5)
The Grief I Didn't Expect

The Grief I Didn't Expect I felt it coming on, but tried to brush it off as just disappointment, brief and fleeting. It didn't work though, even as I captured my feelings and thoughts and moods in writing. I thought and told myself and even said aloud, that by getting it on paper, if floats away. It doesn't. It's no longer brief heart ache, worry, anxiety about the many what ifs. The collection of those jolts of pain have collapsed into a wave of deep longing. Yes, I am grieving.  ..

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He Calls Me Mama

Friday, July 08, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
He Calls Me Mama

Mama It's his best word. He has been saying it since he was ten months old, back when he was just a baby. My baby always but a baby baby then. It sounded as it should back then and now it sounds perfect for a not quite three year old. Except, it travels alone. Just Mama. What better word to hear than the one that links us together? He can try to to say his own name and gets out the first letter of Amos. He has a few more m words and can sign please and thank you, nod yes and no. ..

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The Beauty of Waiting

Saturday, July 02, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
The Beauty of Waiting

Someone told me once that waiting is not a passive action but can be active in itself. Waiting. Wait and see, they say. Just you wait, I have heard a zillion times. Patience is a virtue, echoes in my annoyed brain. Let's wait, my husband says to my anxious heart. It seems everyone but me recognizes the beauty in waiting. I am left perplexed and feeling lazy. My history with waiting has never spawned good results, at least for the things that seem really important. That's not r ..

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A Letter To My Child's Therapist

Friday, July 01, 2016 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
A Letter To My Child's Therapist

A Letter to My Child's Therapist I appreciate your lovely and kind nature, yet our relationship feels emotionally grueling and exhausting. I suspect that you feel the same as me, though I can only speak for myself as momma and for my son, as patient. I feel your occasional frustration and hear the undercurrent of annoyance in your words; I don't blame you, we are alike in that we work tirelessly for progress, yet after the hour, he goes home with me. You bring skill ..

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