Every Bride Needs Something Blue

Tales Of An Educated Debutante

on life, loss and the joy that rules the day.


 
 
 
 
 




 
The future is far away and scary, but today is lovely.

Adrian H. Wood, PhD


His Mama

Saturday, March 04, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (1)
His Mama

The most important hat I have ever worn. Being his mama is different from being a Mama or their mama, his mama means new rules and a heightened level of love and worry and appreciation that feels much like the whizzing of Willy Wonka's glass elevator. The sky is endless and one must hang on tight, enjoy the harrowing ride, the beautiful views and soak in the perspective that sometimes feels like the swallowing of poisonous nectar. Bittersweet truth claims the souls of special needs mama ..

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Say Goodbye to the Short Bus

Wednesday, March 01, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Say Goodbye to the Short Bus

Say Goodbye to the Short Bus You know the one. It's smaller than all the others and has the old school handicapped sticker on the side. I hate that word, handicapped. I can't see that blue wheelchair and not think of it though and that bugs me. It's the bus that is accessible for wheelchairs, you may say, it's not that big of a deal. My son, three year old Amos, can walk just fine and our kind school district welcomes him onto the "regular" bus. It's not a matter of pride, but c ..

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Tokens of Kindness

Sunday, February 26, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Tokens of Kindness

Kindness travels with the simplest of things. Interactions, smiles shared, an embrace, a nice doorman. This weekend, kindness washed over me and circled my inadequate self and I latched on to the gestures that drifted my way. Real life overflows with them, though so often we forget to notice. A doorman at the Renaissance (https://www.facebook.com/RenaissanceRaleighHotel/) walked quite a ways to help with my bags and inquired about our weekend plans. When I shared that I was speakin ..

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The Boy Who Sleeps

Thursday, February 23, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (1)
The Boy Who Sleeps

Most evenings, he falls asleep like this, pressed up against me and on our bed. I've always relished my night space. Perhaps three under three left me desperate for physical and emotional freedom in the evenings. Things changed with the boy who sleeps. My last little perhaps, my son with the special needs, my three year old who goes to public school three full days a week, all qualifiers for access to my once sovereign domain. My heart has changed with his birth and the unfolding of ..

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Playing Catch Up

Friday, February 17, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Playing Catch Up

It's a game that sounds fun in theory, but I've decided it's more liken to a deep dark rabbit hole. Special needs parents know this cyclical game better than anyone, particularly families like ours. Amos is three and his extra special needs have unfolded slowly, no diagnosis at birth, no script of what to expect, just a darling baby turned toddler now preschooler whose milestones have largely remained out of reach. Catching up has eluded Amos and so, our life as a special needs family h ..

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Perfection

Thursday, February 16, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (2)
Perfection

Nobody's perfect. Life is full of imperfection, cohesive with each and every day, yet we long for perfection. Many of us yearn and seek and wallow in the quest for that which is just beyond our grasp. It is, you know. Nobody nor nothing is perfect and yet, I kept forgetting until I was introduced to the boy named Amos. From the very beginning, perfect wasn't a term that would have graced his sweet fuzzy head . No, he had a couple imperfections at birth, nothing serious we though ..

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Normal

Wednesday, February 15, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (0)
Normal

"He looks normal," she said. It was supposed to be kind, I think. My silence evidently propelled more words and so, next came, "You know, he doesn't look special needs. I couldn't even tell." I think I pointed out that his behavior was a possible indication. In that moment, he was scooping out dirt and fake moss from the gigantic planters surrounding the indoor pool of which he refused to enter. Normal. What does that even mean?Truthfully, it's harder that his special needs are a b ..

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What Is A Proper Apology?

Thursday, February 09, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (4)
What Is A Proper Apology?

I offer this letter from UNC (https://www.facebook.com/unchealthcare/) as an example of an apology. I've had it nearly a week and read it dozens of times as I've pondered if perhaps it's just me that is at fault. I've decided it's not, but I am open to kind criticism. I'll explain why I find fault with this apology. And let me say that I find no fault with the letter writer, she was honest and truthful in offering the ridiculousness that two doctors provided. The content is the problem, ..

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What Does He Call You?

Saturday, January 14, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (1)
What Does He Call You?

The simplest question, yet for the sister of a special needs little boy, quite a tricky one. Of course, the question was asked innocently by my daughter's young friend and I, interested to hear how she would answer, turned my ear to the conversation. I heard silence. To cover the quiet, I erred and spoke for her, "he calls her, MOVE!" It was meant to be a joke as three year old Amos does love to say that when his overly affectionate sister dominates hispersonal space for a moment too lo ..

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Daddy

Thursday, January 12, 2017 Adrian H. Wood Comments (2)
Daddy

It's not easy, this thing called being a daddy. I watch from amazingly close proximity and I wonder what it's like to love the children that traveled in another's womb and suckled at her breasts. Of course, that phenomena of love is nothing new, but I must dare to marvel at its' wonderment. I've never experienced that kind of sacrificial love that is born without the strong bestowing bond of relationship. Love that chooses must be even greater than my own and to watch my husband, i ..

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