1. It's Mother's Day and you're making me yell.
2. You're complaining and I'm not relaxing.
3. Can you people just not fight for one tiny day?
4. I'm trying to be nice but I'm about to beat you.
5. It's hard to be thankful for you when you're kicking him.
6. Can y'all just let me be?
7. It's so fun being a mother (I said this before getting out of bed.)
8. That is not a real present; it's a plastic cup from your Sunday school teacher.
9. Next year I'm not paying to break in line to make my flight at the airport, clearly a rookie mistake.
10. Go away.
Bonus: Are you trying to bug me?