Every Bride Needs Something Blue

Tales Of An Educated Debutante

on life, loss and the joy that rules the day.


 
 
 
 
 




 
The future is far away and scary, but today is lovely.

Adrian H. Wood, PhD


The Advice That Makes People Hate You

The Advice That Makes People Hate You

Saturday, September 03, 2016 Adrian Wood Comments (3)

 

1. I start dinner first thing in the morning.
This is a phenomena that puzzles me. I just can't make the lunches, schlep the breakfast and start dinner. These people should be given their own sidewalk squares.
2. I make their lunches at night.
I try this, every school year, I try and then concede defeat. I'm just so tired that starting another meal after finishing dinner clean up.
3. I have my children make their own lunches.
This is even more offensive. No only am I lazy but I am empowering lazy children.
4. I have a chore chart.
Ugh. Just stop it already. A chore chart? I have alarms going off to remind me to pick up my children at school in the afternoons. Being committed to a chore chart feels like a new career path.
5. I make sure to give them each one on one time every week.
How? How is this possible? I know that there are 168 hours in the week, at least I think, but my free time amounts to about 3.
6. I exercise early in the morning.
Help me. Exercise before the onslaught of the daily preparation that looms in my mind? I just can not do anything else but drink instant coffee and check my newsfeed.
7. I have my children help me at the grocery store.
I would like to hire your children. I could use some examples for my motley crew who fight, sneak things in the cart, run over other shoppers with mini-carts, and could not be any more less helpful.
8. I brush my children's teeth.
This takes the cake. I do manage sunscreen smearing on four wriggly people each day throughout the summer but then to chase them with toothbrushes and toothpaste that people act like is flaming arsenic?
9. I read with them individually each night.
In my defense, I did use to do this, when I had one child. Over the years, reading books has fallen to the wayside and I deem it a very special treat. My own mini research study to see if my children can be successful without a mother that follows a beneficial routine in the saving of her own sanity.
10. I don't let them use electronics during the week.
I just don't understand how anyone succeeds at this unless they were to burn them up in a celebratory bonfire. Seriously, I hide remotes, disconnect cable, send iPads away and still, they manage to defeat me, just like the dinosaurs of Jurassic Park.
Just smile and give me a high five when I claim some small success and please don't make kind suggestions. Just let me be me.

 

Comments
Leslie commented on 03-Sep-2016 05:14 PM
This is HI-larious!! I just blew through at least 8 of your posts...you are an amazing writer!
Lyn commented on 03-Sep-2016 08:09 PM
Keep this up and I'll be in the DEPENDS aisle.
N.batt commented on 21-Sep-2016 10:59 PM
I was introduced to your blog by a friend that used to work with me at your uncle's office, she had came by to visit & was talking about how much she enjoyed your blog as well as the photos. Soo, the first thing I did once home was look you up since I was familiar with you & your family. I always said y'all looked like the picture perfect version of a "Land's End" catalog. I was pleasantly surprised to see that both you & your mom share the ability to put thoughts & emotions to paper. You made me laugh, you made me cry, but most importantly you made me think about things a little more in depth! Please keep sharing your stories as they do touch people in different ways. Way to go!! I look forward to continuing to read any new posts & seeing your new pictures. God bless you & yours.

Comment Policy
Thank you for your respectful, friendly, on-topic comments! I LOVE THEM. Because I want My tales to be encourage a positive environment for my readers, my family, and myself, I have and will remove offensive, inappropriate, or generally rude comments. I abide by proper Southern etiquette.

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