Every Bride Needs Something Blue

Tales Of An Educated Debutante

on life, loss and the joy that rules the day.


The future is far away and scary, but today is lovely.

Adrian H. Wood, PhD

Lessons From My Father

Lessons From My Father

Saturday, April 22, 2017 Adrian Wood Comments (4)

1. Never throw away money.
Cleaning out my car meant my teenage self threw away a few pennies stricken with drink holder sludge. His riot act of truth did not fall on deaf ears.
2. Your health is all you have.
I guess this means that life itself can not be purchased and no matter your background or resources, your health is a gift of which to be thankful for each and every day.
3. Your brother is your best friend.
I weep with the loss of joy of having him today. He was mine for 15 years and for the last 10, I've thought of that golden boy as I've echoed those poignant words to my own children.
4. Life is not fair.
No, it's not. It never was and never will be.
5. Life is fair.
This one came later. I think after my brother died, he recalculated and this is what he began to say: Life is fair, it hurts everyone.
6. Don't wait.
I think we were hesitating to have children, law school, the bar exam, finishing my doctorate, no money, a long list of reasons. Don't wait for the good things in life, he said.
7. Money doesn't buy happiness.
Health or happiness evidently. You marry for money and you'll spend the rest of your life working for it, find a nice one. I've thought of that so often, choosing wisely.
8. Get an education.
You need to have something that you can always do, even if you don't want to. There's value in a degree and you don't want to have to count on anyone but yourself.
9. Say yes.
He didn't say this, but he did it. A kettle full of memories linked to saying yes: sleds dragging behind our old VW bug, tie dying t-shirts in the kitchen with a friend and her dad, winning a gigantic stuffed animal at the state fair, playing tennis, and letting me always order a shrimp cocktail.
10. Have fun.
A shout from the deck to the parking lot below, me on roller skates, hopping in the car to head back to school, heading out to the Beach Tavern late on a Friday night, have fun, he would say. Perhaps it is him who's spawned my need to seek joy.

Anonymous commented on 22-Apr-2017 03:26 AM
Your post made me very happy. :)
Newsletter Signup commented on 22-Apr-2017 08:21 PM
Always enjoy your philosophizing and wisdom. Re Health: your physical body is your "man on the board" in this game of life. All your other assets are gone if your health gives out and you are no longer on the planet, so to speak. This is my take on that. Some years ago, the richest man in Tennessee died at 62 of cancer. One day he had a billion bucks; the next day he had none. Like that.
Newsletter Signup commented on 22-Apr-2017 09:45 PM
Love your wise and fabulous parents who raised a "gem". Give them our best!!!
Newsletter Signup commented on 23-Apr-2017 02:18 PM
MY father never said a thing to me I'd call a "lesson", he was a crappy dad, but HIS father
said two things to me that I have never forgotten, and I'm 75..."A lady always has soft elbows
and clean fingernails". He said this to me probably because I didn't. ( I was a teenager at the time)
PS You sound like a really good mom


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